The Coffee Chat (#61)
My conversation with Roselin Minj - Strategy and innovation expert at Accenture, International Climate Champion, Writer and a Mom
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Hi there 👋🏽
Earlier this week marked a significant milestone in my life – I was formally invited to attend a graduation ceremony that wasn't mine. My little baby T is no longer a baby; she’s now a preschool graduate and will be starting Junior Kindergarten this fall!
Graduation ceremonies are always heartwarming events, brimming with hopes and dreams in the eyes of the new graduates. It is even more special when you attend one involving little humans - they dream big dreams completely unencumbered by norms, rules, and in some cases laws set by society.
In that very moment I had this realization - why do we all stop dreaming dreams as we grow older? The vast majority of us go through life feeling like things are put upon us, we are stuck in structures that are just there.
We are afraid to break convention, make a change or chase our curiosity because most of us adults are trapped in these structures. But these structures, these norms, these rules are all created by humans. They all feel normal, they all feel unbreakable…. until they don’t. If humans created them, so humans can change them, shift them or undo them.
The next time someone tells you, "That's just not how things are done," pretend you are 4 and ask them “why not?”
☕ Now, on to today’s coffee chat…
Meet Roselin Minj
Roselin is an impact strategist working at the intersection of sustainability, social impact, and innovation. With experience living and working across Southeast Asia, North America, and Europe, she brings a global perspective to her work.
Recognized as an International Climate Champion and Global Changemaker by the British Council, Roselin was also part of LinkedIn India’s first Creator Program (cohort of 100 experts) in 2022.
She writes a fortnightly newsletter on purpose-driven leadership and is currently working on her debut book.
Below is my conversation with Roselin…
Please tell us a little bit about yourself and your family
I am originally from Delhi, India, where I studied, grew up and worked for almost 15 years. I currently work in the Innovation team at Accenture Canada, a global multinational technology consulting firm.
I moved to Canada two years ago with my husband and our daughter (who recently turned six). She was born in India, and initially we worried how she would transition moving to a new country – but she thankfully fit right in. As a family, we try to spend a lot of time together and have embraced the Canadian life, including the cold weather. We have been really enjoying winter sports like ice skating, snowboarding, snowtubing and spend a lot of time outdoors hiking in summers.
Career-wise, my specialization lies at the intersection of sustainability and social innovation, which I bring to life through my skills in design and systems thinking, strategic design and program management. Over the last 15 years, I've worked in consulting firms, leading nonprofits and a social accelerator - designing and implementing large-scale programs in sustainability and social impact. My approach has always centered on human and planet-centered design to help organization design purposeful programs, products and services. This has been my passion throughout my career.
At Accenture, I am part of the Canada Innovation Hub, where I work with leading businesses to help them adopt a human-centered lens in designing their products and services. I love the work I get to do everyday with different types of clients and different problem statements.
Outside my full-time job, one of my passion projects has been helping women leaders find purpose in their lives and careers. Over the last few years, I've been coaching and mentoring, early to mid career women who are building their careers in impact and sustainability. I offer time on my calendar on most weekends, and helping people find their purpose and balance really gives me joy. I also write a newsletter called Thought Shot, focused on purpose-driven leadership. Writing keeps me alive and allows me to reflect on what matters to me, my goals, and the lessons I've learned from my mistakes.
You're obviously someone who is living your professional life true to yourself. You're involved in many activities on the side, like coaching, writing your own newsletter, and you're also a parent to a six-year-old. All of this requires a lot of energy and time, which are both finite resources. When people ask you how you manage to do it all, how do you respond? How do you structure your life to be present in all these different ways?
That's a good question. A few years ago, like everyone else I used to struggle with time management as well. Having spent a lot of time in the consulting world, it was always extremely hectic with tight deadlines and constant delivery pressure. There was so much on my bucket list that I wanted to do, including writing, having a kid, coaching, and more, but I could never find the time for any of it.
The turning point came when my daughter was born. She was a few months old when I read the book "Atomic Habits." I am a bookworm and read a lot - but that book really hit me hard. There are some portions of it that still resonate with me. I realized that I needed atomic habits in my life to ensure I could find balance in my life, develop the right habits and do everything that brings me joy.
So, I started implementing small, tactical changes. For example, with my writing, I make it a point to write every single day, whether I publish, or it sits in my electronic diary. This might be just 10 minutes on my phone or 30 minutes on my computer. I carve out my morning time for this. Instead of scrolling on my phone when I wake up, I get up a little earlier than usual to write when everyone else at home is still sleeping. I use that time to let my thoughts flow and write them down, either on paper or virtually.
I've also started being more mindful about switching off from work. I have a bad habit of constantly thinking about work and checking my phone and email. So, when my daughter is from school, I put my phone on charge in another room to avoid the temptation of checking it. This helps me be more present with her, though it's not always perfect.
Another strategy I use is aggressive time blocking. All the coaching and mentoring sessions I do, are scheduled only on weekends during a specific time block (which is clearly available on my Calendly link). During the week, I don't have time for these conversations, so I stick to this schedule to ensure I do what I love, without burning out.
That's pretty helpful and makes a lot of sense, especially the tactical suggestions around time blocking and creating time for things you really want to do. The other question I had is about your experience of raising a family in two different environments. You mentioned your daughter was five when you moved countries, so you've experienced raising a family in both India and Canada.
A common struggle for many immigrants is the lack of family support and easily accessible domestic help in Western countries compared to back home. Could you share what prompted your decision to change countries and how you contrast the experience of raising your child in India versus Canada? How have you and your partner managed this transition and the differences in family support and say the general level of help available?
For us, one of the main reasons for moving was our daughter. We wanted her to experience other cultures, explore other geographies – and have exposure to things that we never had growing up. Also, my family has always struggled with health issues due to pollution. I lost my father to health issues, and my mom suffers from chronic asthma. Seeing their health struggles, we wanted our daughter to grow up in a cleaner environment. We also wanted her to grow up feeling safe, included, respected, and valued, as these are important values for us.
So, we thought of making a big transition to try something new. We left the comfort of our home and familiarity to move to a completely new country without any close family—just a few friends.
When we moved, our daughter was not even four years old. In India, we had a whole support system, from domestic help to being near family members. That support was invaluable, especially given our hectic professional lives at the time. We were very appreciative of that support.
Moving to Canada, it was just us. What made the transition easier for me as a mother was the balanced parenting between myself and my partner. I always tell friends and people planning to have kids that it's crucial for your partner to be equally invested in making things work, both for your career and as parents. It's our child, so we share the responsibilities. We balance our priorities, ensure we have the right support systems like after-school programs and classes, and are proactive about her needs. By sharing the responsibilities and being supportive partners, we've managed to balance everything ourselves.
Talking about change, for many people, becoming a parent is a transformative experience, especially for women. It’s not just a physical transformation but also an emotional one. Many people find their vision of success and their life goals change after becoming a parent, while for others, it remains the same. How has becoming a mom changed you as a person? Have your core beliefs, behaviors, or values shifted? What has parenting taught you about yourself?
Oh my god, so much. I think you used the right word: transformative. Becoming a parent is transformative in so many different ways. Firstly, it has taught me so much about myself. I feel like I truly started ‘adulting’ after I had my daughter. Before that, I think I was a different person, and now I feel like a completely different person – in a good way.
I learned to prioritize things differently and to love differently as well. She made my life complete when she came in and expanded my heart. I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s true. She completely transformed me and taught me a lot of things.
For instance, I used to be very short-tempered, but I've become so much more patient now, obviously because raising a kid requires it. The changes I've seen in myself are significant.
I've also noticed changes in how I treat other people. Earlier, I don’t think I fully appreciated what it takes to be a working parent who is also thriving at work. Now, I understand the challenges, especially for career women who are extremely successful and have children. I have become truly appreciative of what it takes for them to get to where they are.
Being a parent has changed not only how I see myself but also how I treat others.
It's interesting how becoming a parent can act like a mirror, making you introspect more deeply. You brought new life into the world and made a big decision to move countries, reflecting on your values and the future you want for your child.
I know this might be personal, so we can choose to skip it if you'd prefer, but you mentioned bringing new life into the world while also losing a parent. That must have been such a conflicting and challenging experience. How did you process these emotions? Our generation often faces this situation, having kids later in life while dealing with aging or ill parents. How did you manage those two very conflicting and intense experiences happening simultaneously?
Yes, it was hard. My daughter was just a few days shy of being six months old, my father passed away. It was extremely sudden and shocking for all of us, nobody expected it. He had a heart attack and passed away in an ambulance. I was in a different city from him and couldn't even see or speak to him before he passed away. Saying it was a shock would be an understatement.
I was still grappling with being a new parent with a little baby, my maternity leave was just getting over and I was about to rejoin work in less than 10 days when this happened. Also, it happened two days before Christmas. "Shocking" doesn't even begin to describe it. I was really struggling as a new mom, physically and mentally. The first six months to the first year are always hard as a new mom. On top of that, I lost a parent. I couldn't even comprehend it.
You asked how I processed it. I don't think you ever fully process losing a parent. It's been a few years now, but I don't think I've processed it still. We are always stuck in that moment of thinking about them, missing them, and wondering what they would have said if they were here. When we moved to Canada, I still wondered what they would have said. Just this morning, my daughter lost her tooth, and I thought, "What would my dad have said?"
You don't truly process it, but what made it a little bit easier was having family around. My husband, my sister, my mom, and my parents in-law—all my support system—were extremely supportive. It was very hard but being around people who cared made it a little bit easier.
We try to keep his memory alive as much as we can. My daughter knows him from pictures, and we tell her stories about him, but he's as abstract to her as a character in a storybook, I guess, because she never actually met him.
I am so sorry, I can only imagine how hard this must be and I appreciate you sharing all this with me and the readers.
I did have one additional question I wanted to ask you. Without sharing anything confidential, in your coaching work with women are there specific pieces of advice or consistent themes you find yourself sharing with them? What are some recurring topics or advice that you think would be valuable to share with a broader audience?
Absolutely! In most of my conversations, here the top three things that have come up:
The first thing is that even successful women often struggle with is imposter syndrome, which I'm sure you're familiar with. They constantly question their worth and whether they belong in the room or at the table. I used to struggle with it too. One of the first things I suggest is for them to take a step back and reflect on the top five achievements of the last year/5 years. This exercise helps them realize how much they've accomplished on their own merit. We often forget to zoom out and see what we have achieved. It is important to believe in yourself and recognize that you deserve to be here. Overcoming imposter syndrome is crucial—believing in yourself is key.
The second thing we often discuss is work-life balance, a constant struggle for everyone, including myself. I share my personal journey with them. One unpopular personal opinion I often share is that you can't have it all – and that’s okay. It's all about making intentional choices. You might choose to prioritize your personal health sometimes, your family the next, or your career sometimes - it's about making intentional choices that align with your priorities. It might not be possible to do everything, but you can choose what matters most to you. And you can be intentional about it.
The third topic we focus on, especially with women leaders is prioritizing ourselves. Often, we put ourselves at the bottom of our own to-do list. When we do reflection exercises, I've seen most of them prioritize everything else before themselves. I've learned, both for myself and those I work with, that unless you prioritize yourself and your well-being, you won't be able to truly be there for others. Even if it's just ten minutes a day—whether it's reading, running, cooking, or simply enjoying a moment alone—prioritize yourself. It's essential for your happiness and the well-being of those around you.
I love that perspective. It seems like many women often define themselves by the roles they play—wife, mother, professional—and sometimes forget about their own individual identity as a person. You mentioned these micro habits, these small moments that can make a big difference.
I know we've covered quite a bit, any final closing thoughts?
Parenting is often seen as this wonderful experience of having a cute kid, but rarely do we talk about how challenging it truly is. Balancing work responsibilities with parenting duties—meeting client deadlines, handling promotions, and then suddenly dealing with a child who's scared about losing a tooth or excited about coloring together—it's tough. Most of the time, parents feel like they're letting someone down, whether it's their kids, bosses, colleagues, or even themselves. I think what we need to do more is give ourselves that grace, that understanding that it's okay not to feel perfect all the time. It's easier said than done, but acknowledging this struggle together as parents can make a big difference.
Thank you for taking out the time and creating this newsletter.
Quick-fire questions:
What's the best thing you have watched recently?
Netflix show 'Baby Reindeer'. It is a hauntingly compelling show with a very gripping storyline and I was really surprised to know that it is based on a real story. I pretty much devoured it over a weekend.
What's the best thing you have read recently?
The best thing I read recently is a book "Never Split the Difference' by Chris Voss, a former international hostage negotiator for the FBI. The book talks about negotiating techniques - which are so applicable at the work context but also at home, with our partners and friends and in our personal lives.
What's the best thing you have heard recently?
The best thing I heard recently: Well, actually an old classic "Leaving on a Jet Plane" by John Denver is the one that is stuck in my brain. My daughter and I have been learning and practicing playing it together on the piano, so it’s been in my head.
🤓 Open tabs…
(I have modeled this section after those “open tabs” that we all have with a few (okay 30-40) interesting links that we promise we will eventually get to one day. These are the links that I had open for sometime that I finally got to …)
⭐The State of the Culture, 2024
The fastest growing sector of the culture economy is distraction. Or call it scrolling or swiping or wasting time or whatever you want. But it’s not art or entertainment, just ceaseless activity.
The key is that each stimulus only lasts a few seconds, and must be repeated.
⭐Life after death? (🎧)
Sebastian Junger came as close as you possibly can to dying. While his doctors struggled to revive him, the veteran reporter and avowed rationalist experienced things that shocked and shook him, leaving him with profound questions and unexpected revelations.
In his new book, In My Time of Dying, Junger explores the mysteries and commonalities of people’s near death experiences. He joins Sean to talk about what it’s like to die and what quantum physics can tell us about living that countless religions can’t.
⭐In Praise of the Meandering Career
Listen to your curiosity. You don’t need a 10-year plan for your career. You don’t need to read a dozen biographies of founders, or reverse engineer successful people’s career paths on LinkedIn. Instead, how might you develop an acute sense of what turns you on? What do you find yourself reading about in the cracks of your day? What are the work tasks that other people find tedious that you enjoy? A strong internal compass is more useful than anyone else’s map.
📖 My private thoughts from my very public diary…
(Sometimes on X (Twitter), sometimes on Threads)
Thank you for reading! Did you know that liking this post or leaving a comment helps it find more readers? More importantly, I would love to hear from you, feedback is always welcome!
And if you happen to know an inspiring working parent who should be featured in a future edition (or if you yourself are one) - please do get in touch
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Disclaimer: All views expressed are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer