The Coffee Chat (#100)
My conversation with Brig. (Dr) Sunita Kakkar, VSM: Oncopathologist, Baker, Knitter, Mom to 2 and Grandmom to 3!
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Hi there 👋🏽
Here is my reminder to you (and myself), as we start a new year - the small, repeated choices you make will shape your year, and over time, your life.
Life doesn’t happen by default. It happens by choice. Where you start is chance, where you end up is choice.
Circumstances shape us, but ultimately, we decide how we respond to them.
The question isn’t whether life has inherent meaning, but whether we are willing to do the work of making it meaningful.
Here’s to making 2026 something we actively create, not passively experience!
☕ Now, on to today’s coffee chat…
Milestones are nothing but moments that make us pause and reflect on how far we’ve come.
Decks and Diapers started on a whim - created, quite honestly, for an audience of one. I didn’t have a grand strategy or a long-term plan. I was simply writing my way through a season of life. But as conversations unfolded, I began to realize how many remarkable stories lived quietly all around me. So I kept going. And along the way, I kept hearing something unexpected….that this newsletter made people feel seen, made them feel less broken, reminded them they weren’t alone, and helped them feel part of a virtual village!
As I approached the 100th issue of the Coffee Chat series, I knew I wanted to do something different. I wanted to profile someone who has had a profound impact on who I am and how I move through the world.
People often ask me where my grit comes from. Where this instinct to keep showing up, especially when things get mundane or hard, was formed.
I trace it back to when I was six or seven years old, when my mother explained the idea of compounding to me. She taught me that doing something daily, and doing it consistently over a long period of time, leads to outsized impact. In a world where most people give up too soon, she told me, the ones who win aren’t always the smartest or the brightest but the ones who show up every day, work hard, and get things done.
That lesson stayed with me. From an early age, my mother quietly instilled the habit of showing up - again and again.
So when I thought about who to feature for this milestone issue, there was no one more fitting than her. Not because she’s my mother but because she is, quite simply, extraordinary in her own right.
She retired as a one-star general (Brigadier General) in the Indian Army, built a remarkable career as a super-specialist cancer pathologist, and raised two children in a dual-career household….all while breaking barriers most people never even see!
I am inspired by her every single day. I continue to learn from her still. And if I can be even half the woman she is, I would consider my life a success.
Meet Brig (Dr) Sunita Kakkar, VSM or as I call her My Maa…
Please tell us a little bit about yourself
I am a Brigadier, an Oncopathologist, a mother of two, grandmother of three, a daughter of two parents who survived Partition, and the eldest of three sisters. I am also a person who enjoys reading. I enjoy cooking, and of late I’ve gone back to my hobbies.
I used to do bits of needlework and embroidery and knitting and things like that. I’ve now gone back to knitting. Maybe the reason is that while I would love to do embroidery, it takes more of a toll on my eyes at this stage. So knitting is great - it’s creative. And now, as a grandmother of three, I have reason to knit for the little kids in the house.
I enjoy trying to keep myself fit and I emphasize trying, because it’s been a bit of a yo-yo journey with my own fitness. But broadly, I do enjoy fitness. I enjoy walking and proper walking. Not a stroll in the park after dinner, but proper fitness walking.
There was a time when I could walk six kilometers per hour. Now my speed is down to a maximum of five kilometers per hour, but not bad, I think. And I enjoy yoga.
You’ve obviously had a lot of shifts in your identity. You’re a mother and now you’re a grandmother.
I’m curious because you might be the first person I’m interviewing who’s a grandmother.
So you obviously have all these multiple layers to your identity. And this is going back 3 decades plus to when you became a mom for the first time and then later, a grandmother. What were the differences between the two, if you remember?
Being a mother has its own challenges, because as a mother you are fully, wholly, completely responsible for the nourishment, survival, and upbringing of a little baby. You are fully responsible. You may have as much help as you want, but it is your responsibility.
Being a grandmother has a different set of factors.
A - you are older.
B - your energy and strength to sit up and do nights after nights is less.
And C - which is the most fun part - you get all the fun time with the baby. If the baby is fussing too much or crying too much, you can tell your son, daughter, daughter-in-law, son-in-law whoever it is, here, take your baby back. You can always do that as a grandmother.
And I think as a grandmother, you’ve brought up your own kids, so you have that comfort of knowing that things happen to babies. If you don’t follow a strict schedule for eating, sleeping, or bathing, it’s okay. They survive. They are very hardy little beings and they know how to survive.
A little up and down in their schedule won’t kill them. If the diaper isn’t changed that instant, it won’t give them some terrible rash or sickness. That’s a big, big thing.
The other thing is - I’ve been working all my life. So as a working mother, in your head, you are always, always multitasking. You’re thinking about your child, your home, your work, your schedules and your children’s schedules.
I’ve been an oncopathologist, so in the mornings, for instance, there are always things going around in your head - reports, reading you need to do, clinical inputs you need to provide the final reports. You’re also thinking about what you have to tell your baby’s caregivers - what to do for the child while you’re away. This is pending, please do this, please do that.
As a grandmother, you have the luxury of time. You’re not on that tight schedule, so you’re more relaxed with the child.
I am glad you are having more fun now!
Another question, when you become a parent, you take pride in your child doing things, but you’re also anxious on their behalf. You watch them make mistakes.
It can be anything - your child walking for the first time, reading for the first time. There’s pride, there’s frustration. In a way, you know they have to learn their own lessons.
What is it like watching your own kids…. who you remember as infants, who you remember holding for the first time…now going through parenthood themselves? Both your children are parents now!
So when you see them holding their babies… what does that feeling feel like?
And how do you restrain yourself from two things:
A - not telling them how to do things, and
B - being open to the fact that in the last three decades, things have changed. Science evolves, thinking evolves, lifestyles change.
How do you balance that?
First of all, when you see your own 30-plus-year-old kids holding their own babies—let me reframe that - your own babies, now 30-plus, holding their babies who are three days old - the first thing that hits you is, my God, time has flown. That’s the first thing that hits you.
It’s a whole cycle of life, and a whole new generation is standing in front of you. To be very honest and very truthful, many of the things - how to do things with the baby, what exactly you did with your own children - you’ve also forgotten. But a few things come back.
For instance, my daughter lives in Canada, where it’s very cold. Here in India, where most homes are not centrally air-conditioned, in the winters you tend to keep a baby in multiple layers of clothing. You put on a muslin vest, then a shirt, a sweater, cap, woollen booties, and you wrap them in a blanket.
In Canada, I would tend to forget the fact that the house is centrally air-conditioned at one constant temperature…until I was reminded, no, no, no. The house is at a constant temperature, don’t bundle up the baby. And yet, you still get scared that the child is going to be cold.
But after two hours, when you pick up the baby - for a bottle, a diaper change, whatever - you realize this little one’s body is nice and warm and cozy, just with the muslin sheets. So you learn.
The other thing I have firmly believed is that I have done my part. I brought up my kids. It’s your turn now, buddy - you do what you want with your kids. Just as I told caregivers for my children, this is how I want things done, it’s now their turn to tell caregivers, this is how we want things done with our baby.
That said, there are a few places where, as a grandmother, I would still intervene.
And now that one of my grandchildren - my oldest grandchild - is a school-going kindergarten kid, I do believe in little bits of work. Even if it’s 15–20 minutes a day, sitting with a paper and pencil and doing some work. Because I feel that builds a habit of consistency. It builds continuity. It builds the habit of doing something even when it’s uncomfortable.
Ultimately, in life, it is consistency, grit, and perseverance that get you where you want to go. It’s that same old rule of 10,000 hours. Sure, if you do 10,000 hours of imperfect things, you become a specialist in those imperfections. But if you’re fortunate to get corrections and do those things 10,000 times, it becomes something you can do at a spinal level.
So yes, these are some areas where I may differ with my own children. I don’t believe in a completely laissez-faire attitude of letting kids do whatever they want. Children don’t dictate. And I firmly believe that children do very well with proper schedules and with knowing where their boundaries are.
We’ve discussed this idea of how many millennial parents lean into gentle parenting.
I know you have perspectives on this. What are your thoughts on gentle parenting versus setting boundaries?
Like with most things there are certain aspects of gentle parenting which are very good and some not so good. My parents were survivors of India’s Partition. They were young during that time. That generation is often called the greatest generation - the ones who survived the Second World War and India’s Partition.
They were disciplinarians. And now, when I’m a grandmother and I look back, I realize their youth was spent in a time of grave shortages. Things were simply not available. Even the thought of having something like sweets every day was a luxury - it was a time of scarcity.
My granddaughter actually doesn’t believe me when I tell her that when I was in school…especially for the boys …getting a spanking from the principal or class teacher was par for the course. It happened.
Those are things I don’t believe in at all. These aspects of gentle parenting, I’m actually in sync with my millennial children.
What I believe, however, is that there must be clear boundaries of what is acceptable and what is not. You can have negotiables in your head, but you must draw a line of non-negotiables.
For example, when my kids were in their teenage years in high school…school parties became common. Birthday parties, social gatherings, all of that. I’d told my kids they could go for these parties, but the curfew was preferably11 pm, maximum midnight - the date should not change.
For my son I told him - he needed to find his own way home. I told him, you’re a young boy becoming a young man - you will find your way home. Make your arrangements and let me know.
My daughter had a very simple solution. If she was going to a friend’s house 30 kilometers away, she’d say, Mom, can I do a sleepover? My answer to that used to be if your friend’s parents are okay with it, I’m okay with it. And I would speak to the parents.I used to tell her once you reach your friend’s house call me from the landline on my mobile. And this was way back in 2005–2006 when cell phones in India were not common.
When they called from the landline, the caller ID would show a code, and I’d know they were actually calling from a landline. Since I had the parents’ landline numbers, in my head it meant my kids were safe.
This was my way of a bit of control and it was non-negotiable.
Another non-negotiable was alcohol. How do you tell a 15- or 16-year-old that all their friends are having beer and cocktails, but you must not touch alcohol? The minute you forbid it, they’ll do it…because forbidden fruit is always the tastiest. My husband and I were both in the Army, so there was never a lack of alcohol in the house - it was not a taboo thing.
When my kids became of legal drinking age I told them: If you must drink, ensure it is poured in front of you, and you hold on to that glass. Don’t leave it unattended for even five minutes. Like every parent, I was terrified of drinks being spiked.
I also told them Don’t mix drinks. If you’re having vodka, stick to vodka. If you’re having beer, stick to beer.
Yeah I remember all this and because alcohol was never a forbidden thing… Honestly it was never something I cared about or was excited to get my hands on.
That leads to another question. Both my brother and I are very intrinsically motivated people. There are two kinds of motivation - extrinsic and intrinsic. Extrinsic is driven by rewards, marks, validation, or what others think. Intrinsic motivation is waking up, putting your head down, and doing the work even when no one is watching.
Both of us are very self-motivated, self-starting, and even now, there’s drive and ambition in us - we care about our work, and we take pride in what we do.
How did you inculcate that in us as kids? Some of it is nature, some nurture—but nurture plays a big role. Did you do anything consciously? Because resilience, grit, perseverance….all of that flows from intrinsic motivation.
I am the product of parents who survived Partition. My father was a person who, as you say, had a very high level of intrinsic motivation - largely driven and developed by circumstances.
He was left at home with his mother and his brothers and sisters, literally looking out for them, because my grandfather was away. Going back a bit he was a salesman of sports goods. They lived in Lahore pre-Partition. My grandfather would take consignments of sports goods and travel extensively. He had already been to Burma—what is today Myanmar—and to Singapore. And then he sailed to New York. He literally took a ship and sailed to America because sports goods from Punjab at that time were of very high quality, and the company wanted to expand their network overseas.
So while my grandfather was traveling, my father just 12 or 13 years old he became “the man of the house.”
My grandfather would send money home - it would come by post. My father would go to the post office, collect the money, bring it home, and give it to his mother, my grandmother. She would keep the money, but he was the one handling the household expenses.
My grandmother, like most women of that time, was housebound. She would give him the money and say, the monthly rations need to come, this needs to come. Through this, my father at a very early age got exposure to the adult world around him and realized that if he did not educate himself, he could not pull himself or the family out of a substandard existence in British India.
This was British India, a time when Indians were not allowed to rise to officer levels or move up the hierarchy. Very few professions were open to Indians. He figured out that he had to study medicine to get out of this morass - to escape these circumstances.
So from my father, I inherited that self-discipline and grit, which was, in a way, forced upon him, and eventually became his nature.
My mother, on the other hand, is very spiritually grounded, even today. She meditates regularly. She also has a very strong belief that God helps those who help themselves.
When we were children, my parents believed very strongly that girls needed to be educated and financially independent. My mother also had this deeply inbuilt notion that children needed hobbies.
Before I went to medical college, I would see other kids in high school around me going to the defence / country clubs and going to parties.There was nothing wrong with that. In fact, at one point, three of us sisters used to say- They have so much fun. XYZ, our neighbors, their children go to the club every evening.
My father would say, Beta, you have finite energy and finite time. You can spend it in the club, or you can spend it making something of yourself for your future.
That really got ingrained in me.
I developed this belief that if children are kept busy, they stay out of trouble. And that responsibility needs to be taught at a slightly early age.
So what is responsibility for a child?
Pack your own bag for school. You make sure your clothes are ready for the next day etc.In India, there has always been the concept of small amounts of homework for children. So I used to tell my kids, Your homework is your responsibility.
Literally, until both my daughter and my son…meaning you and your brother…were in Class 3, I would sit with you and supervise your homework.
But the minute you went into Class 4, I explicitly told you: Class 4 children are now big kids. You’ve finished Class 3. From now on, your homework, your bag, and setting out your uniform for the next day - that is your responsibility. If you get stuck anywhere or with anything Mummy and Papa are here, we’ll help.
So I think that’s where it comes from.
I have always, always firmly believed that a child needs roots - to be grounded - and wings - to be set free. But before wings, they need grounding. And grounding comes from responsibility.
I like that. And that idea that people rise to become the best version of themselves when expectations are placed on them really resonates. When you say, I expect this of you, children rise to meet that expectation.
I love this idea of age-appropriate expectations, and how much that shapes who a child becomes.
Now talking about expectations while you were raising two kids and managing your career as a part of a dual career household you also were taking care of 4 elderly parents! How did you manage all that, i am assuming a few years down the road a lot of us will be in that situation!
During those years I used to joke that I had six children - two below the age of 20 and four above the age of 70…..and yes, I was very much sandwiched. As you said, I had four elderly parents and in-laws to take care of, two children to raise, myself to take care of, and a very busy career of my own. I was growing professionally, leading teams, and we were a dual-career household.
At that time, life was in the fast lane. Everything was moving simultaneously—like parallel railway tracks.
The first time I really felt the pressure was when the kids were in their board classes. These board exams are school-leaving exams, and they determine, to a large extent, which colleges you get into and those admissions, in turn, shape your future.
They were at that critical stage. And I was also at a stage where it was make-or-break professionally. That’s the nature of the work world. Wherever you are in a workplace, I personally feel there are no real friends there because when you’re climbing the ladder, very often it’s your own cohort, your own peer group, that behaves like crabs in a basket, pulling each other down.
And then there’s that famous line from Alice in Wonderland - the Red Queen tells Alice, you have to run very fast just to stay in the same place. You only realize later how profound that statement really is.
At the same time, your parents are aging. They’re falling ill. So one of my personal rules was: take one day at a time. Another dictum I lived by was: this too shall pass. However awful the day looks, however busy it feels…this too shall pass.
You realize that you can’t do everything. Something has to give.
Where I may have lost out was pulling out time purely for myself. When I see younger people today, they’re much better at carving out personal time. For me, health was non-negotiable. If nothing else, I made sure I got in about six kilometers of brisk walking every single day.
But something’s gotta give, right? So things like swimming, sports, movies, baking, knitting - things I enjoyed - I couldn’t do then.
Professionally, I consciously sacrificed certain opportunities. Speaking assignments, panel discussions, guest talks - those often meant at least three days away: one day to travel, one day there, one day back. I started saying no to those.
But as I always say, you make a choice at a moment in time, given the circumstances you’re in. You can’t change those circumstances - you just choose within them. It’s like playing rummy. You play the game with the cards you’ve been dealt - you can’t change that hand and in each round you have to drop one card.
That’s what I was doing.
Do you have any regrets, though?
That’s a good question.
Professionally, I rose to the rank of Brigadier. I believe I built a solid, dependable reputation. I’ve had clinical colleagues tell me, Ma’am, we really rely on your reports. I’ve had people say, We’ve rarely worked with someone like you.
That’s very heartening.
I’ve had MD students who are still in touch with me. In India, 5th September is Teachers’ Day, and without fail, a group of them reach out every year. They say, We remember you not just for the pathology you taught us, but for the life lessons as well.
I’ve also had laboratory technicians who are still in touch with me, very respectfully. They send updates about their families. That means a lot. Because when you leave an organization, that’s when you really find out whether you had any value - whether people still think you’re worth their time and energy.
So do I have regrets? Not really.
I’ve had a very good life overall. If I look at myself honestly, I think I’m in the positive - net, net.
Great family, an impressive career. There’s never really “enough,” right? You could always say you missed the next level, or the one after that…
I have a personal theory. I believe life is made up of ten points - you’re a composite. There’s your physical and mental health, professional and psychological health, family, social life, finances.
When I look at myself across all those spheres, I think I’ve done very well, by God’s grace. I have two children who are sorted, decent human beings - sensitive and caring with their own families and their own professional standing… I believe I’ve made them good members of society.
I love that. I read somewhere that the biggest responsibility of a parent is to create good ancestors… How do you make sure your kids become good ancestors for generations you’ll never meet?
I’ve always said this - children never do what you tell them to do. They only copy what you do.
If you live with integrity, honesty, and truthfulness, they will see it and imbibe it. But if you tell them be honest and then do something small but dishonest they notice.
They don’t listen to lectures. They copy behavior.
If you wake up in the morning and say, You sit and have breakfast, I’m doing a quick workout, they learn that physical exercise matters. If breakfast is boiled eggs and toast, they don’t ask for cake and Coke. They absorb that.
That said, you don’t kill joy.
When my kids were growing up, Sunday breakfast was fun. Sometimes we’d make muffins together - corn, zucchini, carrots, cheese, onions, spices - all mixed together. My logic was simple: instead of corn bread plus eggs plus vegetables, just combine it all. Same nutrition, different shape.
You must also set expectations. I clearly remember telling each of you about the - You’re a big kid now, you do your homework yourself , it’s your responsibility - bit.
The kids stumbled. There’s no doubt about it. In Class 3, 4, even 5, their grades dipped. But then they realized they could do it.
That realization, the joy of capability, is huge for a child.
And I did this because my mother said the exact same thing to me when I was in Class 3. She told me, You have two younger sisters. I have to help them. You sit here and do your own homework.
I know we spoke about expectations. And I know you mentioned you’re happy with how life has shaped up.
But there’s this idea women are constantly told - the whole notion of having it all. There’s so much debate about it now. Can women really have it all? Or is that even the right question?
When you say something’s gotta give - and you’ve got three grandkids now, two of them girls, plus a daughter and a daughter-in-law - do you think we should still be telling our daughters that they can have it all?
You know, life is a marathon. And the end point, you cannot see it when you’re starting out.
Actually, maybe it’s not even a marathon. It’s more like a long cross-country run. Every turn in the road brings something new. You see different vistas. You see different parts of nature.
Wanting to have it all - that’s like treating life as a buffet where you only have one plate!
You take your plate and load it up with everything at once. You can’t even carry the plate properly. You’re going to stumble.
Instead, think of it as a meal in a great restaurant - enjoy all the courses! Enjoy a bit of salad. Then maybe some soup, then some grilled fish, some chicken curry. Then you come back, take a breather. Later, you have dessert. You pause again. Maybe an after-dinner drink.
That way, you enjoy the entire meal. You’re not sick. And you’re not walking around with a plate so overloaded that you’re about to fall.
I really like that analogy.
People often talk about seasons of life, but this feels different. This is more like a Michelin-star meal - you’re saying there might be five, six, seven courses. Eventually, you’ll have everything. But not all at once.
Because professionally, and you know this, people like me, people like my brother… we were very driven, very motivated. After a point, winning became a habit.
We cleared competitive exams. We got into the very best universities. We got dream professional roles. In those roles we rose through the ranks. And then to me as a woman it felt like - you have children, and suddenly a big brake is applied.
You start seeing other people - women who chose not to have kids, or men you once thought were average or even below average - and now you look up and realize they’ve reached the same place you’re at. Some have even gone further.
And sometimes you can’t help but ask: Is it my gender that’s holding me back? Is it because I have a uterus? Because I had children?
You were told you could have it all and for a long time, it felt like you did. Until family entered the picture. And you’re grateful for that family but you’re also confused.
Because you’re always taught: work hard, strive, and you’ll get there. And then suddenly you realize there comes a point where you can work hard and still not get there. Because there are real constraints now. And biases.
So this women in the workplace or women outside the house - for millennia, this issue has existed. And it will exist till time immemorial!
The workplace is geared for men. And I say this having worked in the army, which is truly the epitome of a boys’ club.
I have always maintained this: as a woman, if you want to succeed professionally, there are certain things you have to do doubly hard.
First - you have to work doubly hard to prove that you know as much. Actually, maybe a little more.
In my profession, medicine, I know my work. I know more than you. I can help you when you’re stuck. I can give a second opinion.
Second - you have to run doubly hard to prove that you deserve the next opportunity. That you are fit for the next promotion.
Having said that yes, children do slow you down.
But remember the cross-country run. When you’re going uphill, you slow down. Sometimes you even stop…..to catch your breath.
That doesn’t mean the race is over.
You start again. And life is not all uphill. There are summits, and there are valleys. There are ups and downs. That’s how it goes.
At the end of the day, it’s about your internal clock.
What do you want from life?
I have colleagues and friends who were very fixated on titles. One of them used to say, one day I will be the head of department.
She never became head of department. And she carries that hurt with her even now.
That’s the danger.
The only permanent thing in life is impermanence.
Your career is one aspect. But when you look at life as a whole - the satisfaction comes from the bigger picture.
For me, it gives me immense satisfaction to see that my children are doing well in life.
And when I say doing well, I mean in all aspects - their homes, their families, their children, their finances. The way they stand in their own circles, and in society.
Sometimes I get stuck in comparisons of only one aspect of life. But I know it’s also important that your entire identity is not determined by just one aspect of your life.
Because the people who do that are often very miserable - the ones who tie their entire self-worth and identity to a title. Especially today: you can have a layoff, a medical crisis. Like you said, that colleague of yours who desperately wanted to be head of department and when it didn’t happen, she carried that hurt with her.
So it’s about understanding that you contain multitudes. That there is joy in many different things. Doing things for the love of the game, versus being enamored by a title.
Because the reality is, you tell me this now, a lot of your colleagues and friends are retired, some retired as junior army officers, some retired as generals, when you’re all hanging out together now, does it really matter?
Life -it’s like a game of chess.
At the end of the game, a pawn can checkmate the king. But when the game is over, the king, the queen, the knight, the rook, and the pawns….all of them go back into the same box.
Ah so your professional life is like a chess game!
Exactly. And at the end of it, all the pieces are together in the box.
And I think that’s exactly it. What they often say is that work life is a kind of pretend play. We’ve created scripts, roles, hierarchies. Real life is what’s happening outside of that.
Work is a facet of life but over the years, we’ve made it all-consuming.
That’s why when I ask people to introduce themselves and I specifically tell them not to start with their professional or corporate title, people stumble. Because for some, that’s the only identity they’ve built. They don’t know how else to describe themselves.
Because life is what happens to you while you keep planning your professional life.
All your life, you’re planning but what’s happening alongside that? That is life.
I think both having multitudes is important and then also knowing that agency is real. For a child and for us as adults I fundamentally believe that life doesn’t just keep happening to us. We do have the power to make things happen in our lives. Yes, we’re dealt certain cards, but we can still change situations and circumstances. So that whole idea of agency is very real, and very important.
And if there is something I can teach my kids, your grandkids that is it! Any tips on how to do it?
One thing I consciously did with my children, you and your brother, was to put them into organized sports.
Because sports teach discipline. They teach responsibility.
Whether it’s a team sport or an individual sport ….you make choices. You decide whether to pass the ball while playing soccer. When a tennis ball comes at you, you decide: do I smash, do I do a drop shot, do I go cross-court?
And you live with the consequences.
As children, once you learn that you have choices you can make and you have to live with the consequences and you understand something important - one game doesn’t make you win or lose the match or a championship.
You may be behind at one point but if you want, you can push yourself. Over time, you can still win overall.
Quick-fire Questions:
What’s the best thing you have read recently?
Rob Henderson’s book Troubled.
It’s a memoir. And it really struck me, because it reinforced something I’ve always believed: children need boundaries.
I used to tell my kids, I am your friend but I am Mom my word is the last word.
If I said you have to be home by midnight, you had to be home by midnight. No negotiation. There were negotiables and non-negotiables. And I always felt that children actually do very well with that.
That book is very troubling, because you realize how many children, especially in North America, are wandering through life lost. Children who were never wanted. Who never received love, affection, or guidance to help them become grounded, responsible citizens.
What’s the best thing you have heard recently?
There’s an old Hindi song - it’s very meaningful.
It says, “Main zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya.”
It means: I walk alongside life. I accept what I receive, and what I don’t get, I let go.
It’s a very Indian, very spiritual, philosophical idea that acceptance is what ultimately leads to inner happiness.
What’s the best thing you have watched recently?
I would say Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour Documentary
It shows you the degree of professionalism, discipline, and hard work involved. Standing on a stage and singing is not just fun and games.
I actually told my niece, she’s fourteen, to watch it. I said, you’ll realize that she does a workout of at least three hours a day to build the physical stamina required.
Taylor Swift also has a great relationship with her mom, dad and brother. Very good adult relationship. Very good grounding for a teen to see.
🤓 Open tabs…
(I have modeled this section after those “open tabs” that we all have with a few (okay 30-40) interesting links that we promise we will eventually get to one day. These are the links that I had open for sometime that I finally got to …)
⭐Why A.I. Didn’t Transform Our Lives in 2025
This was supposed to be the year when autonomous agents took over everyday tasks. The tech industry overpromised and underdelivered.
⭐Flounder Mode
Kevin Kelly on a different way to do great work. Kevin Kelly isn’t known for one “big thing,” and doesn’t aspire to be. He’s as intelligent, hard-working, ambitious, and prescient as history’s most iconic entrepreneurs—only without any interest in building a unicorn himself. Instead, in his words, he works “Hollywood style”—in a series of creative projects. What follows is a sampling of his life’s work.
⭐The Only Right Way to Ask for an Intro (Everything Else Is Wrong)
How do you engineer a killer intro without looking desperate or annoying?
📖 My private thoughts from my very public diary…
(Sometimes on X (Twitter), sometimes on Threads and sometimes on BlueSky)
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Disclaimer: All views expressed are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer
Excellent episode to mark the 100th, best of them all!
This is by far my favorite piece from you, exactly what I needed to read today. :)