The Coffee Chat (#35)
The Coffee Chat (#35)
My conversation with Ranjit Kuppili - Former management consultant turned GTM leader, Angel investor and dad to 2 young girls!
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Hi there 👋🏽
Motherhood can be a lot of things to different people however one thing almost all moms universally agree with is that it is a 24*7 always on job. It can be exhausting emotionally, mentally and physically.
Motherhood is hard but sometimes small little gestures and words make all the mental, physical & emotional work worth it.
The mini human in my life made this (with some help from other adults in her life), woke me up with kisses and kept repeating “Happy mothers day” all day on May 8th. Totally melted my heart!
I do hope the little humans in your life thanked you for being an amazing mom and you did the same for that special individual that brought you into this world.
P.s: I was interviewed by Working Mums Club. You can Read the interview here
☕ Now, on to today’s coffee chat…
Meet Ranjit Kuppili
Ranjit is a regular Decks and Diapers reader who reached out to me (thank you to everyone who does that, writing can sometimes be very lonely). Turns out we had a whole bunch of things in common, including an employer.
He is a product and Go-To-Market leader who is passionate about building organizations and the self!
Below is a interesting piece he shared with me on how he ‘created himself’ vs focusing on the tradition advice of ‘discovering himself’.
Below is my conversation with Ranjit…
Please tell us a little bit about yourself and your family
I am a former management consultant turned GTM leader, Angel investor, and Advisor to high-growth tech start-ups. I am currently helping a Web3 start-up working to transform their industry.
We (my wife, two little kids, and I) are in the middle of a one-year remote adventure – spanning sub-urban New England living, AirBnB’ing in a pre-civil war era beach house, to living in the exciting, bustling, and ever-growing Austin area. My two lovely daughters have been incredibly supportive of our family adventures
For you what was the hardest part of becoming a new parent? How is this different with your second child :) ?
Adjusting to the heightened level of responsibility from being 100% responsible for someone else, and the pressure from getting into a perfectionist mode because of this responsibility!
Also, the lack of awareness on what to expect (despite my own research, talking to friends, observing friend’s newborn’s etc.,)
Difference for my second child was being more relaxed, as I was experienced by then – had figured out the process of managing a newborn!
After becoming a parent did you adopt any new beliefs, behaviors, or habits that have most improved your life?
A habit that has worked well is to start the day before my kids - (e.g., waking up before my kids get up, so I get time to plan and act to get ahead of my day, make breakfast for them, and be ready to serve them when they get up). Staying a few steps ahead of the team is a habit I picked up during my consulting days when leading teams in fast-paced situations, that translated very well to my life as a parent
A belief that has worked wonders is to make sure I take care of myself first, to be most effective as a parent. For example, there were occasions in the past when I would feel guilty if I was taking even an hour for myself on the weekends when my kids wanted to be with me
Did you take any paternity leave? If yes, how was the transition back to work?
Yes, I took a combination of PTO (Personal Time Off) and paternity leave on both occasions. I was also lucky to be with very supportive employers / clients for my transition back.
When my first kid was born, I was still in consulting and was looking for a local client after my leave. However, a former out-of-town client of mine wanted me back and offered me a remote opportunity, so that was incredibly helpful. It indeed was the best of both worlds, as I loved the work and my team and was able to drive impact while balancing my personal needs
When my second kid was born, I negotiated an alternate day WFH arrangement (not common in pre-pandemic days) and flexible hours on days I went into the office (instead using the commute time to pick up and drop my elder kid in daycare, take care of the newborn and my wife etc.,). I would log back in the evening post-bedtime to wrap up work and get a head start on the next day. Setting expectations with my team upfront and being outcome driven helped a lot. I remember iterating on Steer Co decks for C Suite meetings in the 2-hour windows between my kid’s feeding and changing cycles! Looking back on this time, this balancing act helped sharpen my focus and in being present in the moment
Given that you are part of a dual-career household what choices have you and your partner made that have helped you become a dual career household with kids?
Calendaring activities helps us adjust attending to kid’s needs based on each other’s schedules. A quick connect just before bed the prior day or quickly in the morning before the day starts helps us get a sense of each other’s availability for the day
We come from an extremely patriarchal society (South Asian Diaspora). How are you different as a dad from the men of your father's generation? Where do you think are currently the biggest gaps when it comes to fatherhood and brown men? What would you like to see changed?
I was lucky to have incredible role models growing up. My father has always supported my mother, and I constantly aspire to be like him as a dad! Broadly speaking, though, I think the most significant gap is primarily the transformative change that both men and women of this generation are going through, relative to the prior generation (i.e., having grown up seeing clearly defined roles or swim lanes for both men and women in our prior generation)
What is one of the best or most worthwhile investment you have made after becoming a parent?
An excellent day care facility!
What advice would you give others who are on the cusp of becoming parents? What advice should they ignore?
Do your research. It does take a village to raise a kid – so if possible, form a tribe with someone who’s on the parenting journey with you at the same time or just a few years ahead of you. Most importantly, do your research and trust your intuition!
Quick-fire questions:
What’s the best thing you have watched recently?
Jesse Itzler’s Ultraman journey
Re-runs of Harry Potter series with my daughter
What’s the best thing you have read recently?
“When Breath Becomes Air”, memoir of Dr. Paul Kalanithi
What’s the best thing you have listened to recently?
Balaji Srinivasan’s podcast on the Tim Ferriss podcast
📖 My private thoughts from my very public diary…
I would love to hear from you, feedback is always welcome!
And if you happen to know an inspiring working parent who should be featured in a future edition (or if you yourself are one) - please do get in touch
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