The Coffee Chat (#4)
My conversation with Negin Mahaboob - A 2nd year MBA student, an aspiring brand manager, and mommy to a baby girl
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I have three things to share with you before we jump into Coffee Chat #4!
Decks and Diapers is now a podcast! 🎧
Thanks to the great folks at Ad Auris, Decks and Diapers is now also available in an audio format! So if reading is not your thing you can now hear all the original essays on any major podcast app.I recently discovered a new newsletter 📖
Please check out Jessica and Libby at Visible Hands: Visible Hands grew out of an impatience with “business as usual.”
Their weekly newsletter discusses the implications of business on society and how individuals can keep companies accountable. I've really enjoyed their writing and know they would appreciate your support.This holiday season please shop local 🛍️
A lot of us want to support small businesses (because these businesses really need us), but don't know where to start. Well, my friend Taylor is here to solve that problem for you!She has put together a list of some great small, independent & local businesses to support, mostly in and around Toronto. Check out this spreadsheet
☕ On to the coffee chat…
Ever since I completed my MBA 2 years back a lot of people have asked me what was the hardest part of the MBA. My answer is always the same. Managing your time. The course content is not super complex. What is complex is having 30 things come at you at the same time and learning how to prioritize your time & manage your energy.
Ever since I became a mom 8 months back a lot of people have asked me what is the hardest part of becoming a mom. My answer is always the same. Managing your time. You have 30 things that come at you at the same time and you need to learn how to prioritize your time & manage your energy.
Most people have a very hard time doing either of these things well.
And then you meet someone who is doing both together. And she is not just surviving but thriving.
Negin Mahaboob is currently a 2nd year MBA student at the Rotman School of Management, University of Toronto. While being a full-time student, she is also a mom to an infant.
Below is my conversation with Negin..
Please tell us a little bit about yourself and your family
I find this the most intimidating question always!
I came to Canada with my husband in 2018 with one goal – to build a better future for our child (or children). Right after landing I got pregnant and it was the most magical news I could receive. I think I still have that first positive pregnancy test in my bathroom shelf (just some gross things moms do). After trying to conceive for almost a year, getting pregnant was literally the best thing that could have happened to me and my husband. So, from there started my journey from being this fitness obsessed salad lover to constantly craving food every single evening.
I studied for my GMAT in my first trimester, wrote it in my second, and started networking in my third. In a way, my daughter was a part of my MBA journey right from the beginning and that makes it even more special.
The reason I knew deep down that I could do this was because of the unwavering support my husband offered. He worked from home the first three months after my daughter was born and watched her day and night while I was drowning in assignments and class. I wouldn’t have been able to do anything without him.
For you what was the hardest part of becoming a new parent?
This might sound silly but during my pregnancy, I used to cry because I felt like I was losing my identity, a big part of what makes me whole. But I was so wrong.
After having my daughter, I learned that children make everything more meaningful. She is the reason I decided to push myself and my career. She is the reason I put myself out there, unafraid of failure. She is the reason I push as hard as I can.
How was it starting an MBA with a baby that was a few months old? What are some of the challenges you faced and how did you overcome them?
Without a doubt, the most challenging thing was breastfeeding. In my first few terms, I remember running on four hours of sleep because of the middle of the night feeds and pump sessions. I was adamant that I wanted to breastfeed my daughter for the first year of my life and I knew that this was a herculean task to take on. I would run to the breastfeeding room every break I got - in between classes, after class, and even in between group meetings. It sure did get awkward trying to explain pumping to teammates but ultimately I got used to it.
For me, every minute spent away from her was every minute that had to be made the most of. So, I ensured that I never wasted time on anything that didn’t give me value. I studied on the commute to and from home, did assignments with wires all around my chest pumping milk, and attended team meetings while silently putting my baby to sleep.
During the MBA, you have so many events, networking sessions, classes, and a million other things. While FOMO can sure get to you, it was important for me to understand where I saw value and where to spend time accordingly.
Something else that really affected me was the loneliness. Being a mom can be a lonely journey. Though the MBA kept me so busy that I literally had no time to socialize, I sure did wish occasionally that I had some sort of social support system to keep me going.
After becoming a parent did you adopt any new beliefs, behaviors, or habits that have most improved your life?
My answer can be summed up in two words – time management.
My calendar is my bible. It is the first thing I look at after waking up and the last thing before going to bed. Things are obviously challenging when you have a growing child to care for and hence, it was important for me to plan my time as efficiently as I could. I studied and did assignments during her nap time and after she went to sleep. My husband and I would take turns watching her whenever we had important calls to make or meetings to attend.
A lot of it was compromising, seeing where you can fit in things, and most importantly working as a team.
What is one of the best or most worthwhile investment you have made after becoming a parent?
The daycare for sure.
However, it was the most difficult thing ever for me – to put my child in a daycare. I didn’t even go to drop her off the first week because I knew I just couldn’t bear to see her leave my arms. And the day I did go to drop her off, I literally cried so much that the staff had to spend a good five minutes to calm me down. Even now, everyday I have to drop her off, a part of me feels a little sting.
However, it is when she started going to daycare that I started to become productive. An assignment that’s written at 11pm after she goes to sleep when I’m half awake isn’t as high quality as one that’s written in the morning when I’m wide awake.
With the pandemic and daycares being shut for six months, it was extremely challenging for me. However, once they reopened, I’ve been able to breath and really invest that time into networking and learning.
The biggest challenge that working parents with young kids have is a lack of predictability in their schedule and limited time for themselves. How have you managed this?
Yes, it is hard but my tip is sticking to you calendar as much as possible. Sometimes, life happens and nothing can be done but what you can do, is prepare for the worst.
Additionally, I create deadlines that are personally reasonable so I know that I’m not pushing myself to unattainable limits. It helps sometimes to just take a breather and let yourself relax. You need that time for yourself, just to stop and breath.
Also, it helps to be honest about this to your team and whoever you work with. People are understanding and if they aren’t then, that’s not your problem.
What advice would you give others who are on the cusp of becoming parents? What advice should they ignore?
You do you. When I became a new parent, people rushed to offer me advice that I never asked for. Every baby is different and how you parent is a very personal decision.
I read every parenting and pregnancy book but nothing really prepares you for parenthood like a crying baby that refuses to be pacified. That said, it’s a beautiful journey that brings so much meaning to your life. I look at my daughter and can’t imagine life without her, her little drooling smiles, and her smelly farts (yes, they’re gross).
Something I know a lot of women go through and I did too is mom guilt. We get a lot of nonsense from society for our choices professionally and at home. My advice is to tune everything out. People will talk no matter what and what you do for your family and yourself is your decision and you should be proud of it. You’re doing great!
Quick-fire Questions:
What’s the best thing you have watched recently?
I’m obsessed at the moment with investing videos, particularly videos by this youtuber – Investing with Rose.
I’m starting an RESP for my daughter and so I’m trying to learn as much as possible on investment options and how to maximize her college fund.
What’s the best thing you have read recently?
When breath becomes air – Paul Kalanithi. (If you haven’t read it, please please do)
What’s the best thing you have listened to recently?
Podcast – How To Money. It is a personal finance podcast.
I would love to hear from you, feedback is always welcome!
And if you happen to know an inspiring working parent who should be featured in a future edition (or if you yourself are one) - please do get in touch.
Disclaimer: All views expressed are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer.
Thanks for the shoutout for Visible Hands! Keep up the great work :)
Another brilliant conversation! I stumbled upon Decks and Diapers quite surreptitiously and now I look forward to every new edition. The conversations are so insightful and authentic. You really do a terrific job, Rashi :)