The Coffee Chat (#67)
My conversation with Angelica Victoria: Sr. Manager at TransLink, Co-founder of the award winning Mama Bear program, big picture thinker, and mom of 2 little ones!
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Many people spend over a decade in their careers, but when you dig deeper into their experience, you realize it's just one year repeated nine times.
One of the key principles of biology I remember from high school is: "Anything that’s living must be constantly moving and changing."
Movement is in our very nature—it's part of our DNA. Without it, atrophy sets in. No matter where you are in your career, think about the next decade.
How will you ensure that you gain 10 years of true experience, growth, and skill development across a range of topics, challenges, and opportunities, rather than repeating the same year over and over?
☕ Now, on to today’s coffee chat…
Meet Angelica Victoria
So many people told me I had to meet Angelica, and once I did, I totally understood why! We clicked right away.
We both have had winding careers, moving across different organizations and functions—she’s done everything from strategy to operations, marketing, supply chain, sales, and finance!
We're both super passionate about experience, whether it’s for customers or employees. And on top of our regular day jobs, we both felt compelled to tackle the challenges that moms face.
Angelica co-founded a grassroots program to connect and support working mothers. What started small turned into a global movement within the organization, helping to amplify the voices of working moms.
She has recently made the switch to the public sector, shaping the future of CX for public transit and serving the community and region that her children will grow up in.
Below is my conversation with Angelica…
Please tell us a little bit about yourself
I'm Angelica, and I'm a mom of two wonderful kids. My daughter just under 6, and my son is almost one and a half. We’re in a dual-career household. Having a career was a core part of my identity, and it still is to some degree. But then I had my firstborn, my daughter, and it completely turned my world upside down.
I realized things weren’t the same anymore.
During my maternity leave, all I wanted to do was go back to work—back to my comfort zone where I knew what I was doing and what excellence looked like. But here I was with this tiny, fragile infant, so dependent on me, and I didn’t know how to handle it. I still firmly believe I’m a mom first, but I’m also very passionate about my career and adding value to the world through my work. So one of the things I started when I got back to work was a program and community for mothers at our workplace.
You raised something very interesting that really resonated with me. A lot of women who are very competent and professionally successful find their career to be a comfort zone.
Raising a human being is one of the most critical jobs, yet we’re often so underprepared for it. Life doesn’t prepare you for what hits you as motherhood does. I felt so uncomfortable during those first few months and wanted to go back to work..
I completely relate to that. The challenge kept increasing, and I felt terrible, just terrified. For a long time, I refused to be alone with my daughter because I was scared I’d mess up. It was a very different me, walking into motherhood versus walking into work, where I was confident and knew I could figure things out.
With a baby, you don’t get the same feedback—they’re not great communicators, and it was a daunting experience, on top of all the challenges of motherhood like birth, labor, and sleepless nights. I definitely felt underprepared.
Being an immigrant added another layer of complexity, with different cultural expectations around raising children. There was so much information, and I struggled to process what the right thing to do was. The early months were definitely a challenging time for me too
At what point did you feel a shift in yourself? Parenthood is such a transformative experience—what changes did you start noticing in yourself over the six years that you’ve been a mom?
Going back to work really helped. I found a bit of myself again. I had taken a year and a half off for my first maternity leave and during that time, I felt like I was just swimming—trying to figure out what was right versus wrong.
But when I went back to work and had childcare in place, I was able to reset myself, remember who I was, and start feeling more comfortable in both roles. It also helped that my daughter was becoming more self-sufficient, able to communicate better, and that made things a bit easier.
It was still hard—horribly hard—but I had a better sense of what I was doing a couple of years into motherhood.
It wasn’t an overnight process, but getting childcare and having some space and time for myself allowed me to get more comfortable with the situation as a working mom.
And now that you’re at the end of your second maternity leave, how has this experience been different? Does it get easier the second time around?
I walked into my second maternity leave feeling more confident, knowing what to expect. Being a first time mom was quite the challenge as I had not yet adjusted to shifting my world fully into ensuring the survival of this tiny human. With a second child, In a way, it’s less surprising because I’m confident now that I can handle things like changing diapers and surviving sleepless nights.
But I wouldn’t say it’s easier because my second child is so different from my first. Their temperaments are different. My second was a much calmer baby, less fussy, but he had more physical needs—like allergies and eczema—and got sick more often, which was very different from my first.
Balancing two kids is another challenge. I used to devote all my time to my daughter outside of work and friends, and now I have to figure out how to be a good mom to both of them. So, I wouldn’t say it gets easier, but I’m more comfortable in my role as a mom. I know what to expect, but it’s still challenging to navigate the day-to-day realities.
I feel like one of the biggest differences between being a working mom and not is the limited amount of time you have to rebalance your energy.
In the past, you could keep taking on stretch projects after stretch projects because you had weekends and evenings to yourself. But now, it’s like you’re working two jobs every day. They call it the double shift, right?
Exactly. I think the first time around, I was just underprepared for how much motherhood would fundamentally change my life. It was like the rug was pulled out from under my feet.
I knew I was going to have a baby, but I didn’t fully grasp that I’d have to give up so much of my life and who I was. It was a huge adjustment, evolving into the role of being a mom.
But with my second child, I knew I was a mom—I knew that was part of my identity, so it wasn’t as jarring the second time around. That really helped me overall.
You’ve had a successful corporate career and have grown in your career, which means you’ve been challenging yourself. I don’t like saying ‘tips and tricks’ because that makes it sound like there’s a silver bullet, but are there things you’ve intentionally done or approaches that have helped you make it work successfully? What could others benefit from?
This is a great time to talk about the Mama Bear program I started at my workplace. After my first maternity leave, I came back and thought, ‘Wow, this is really hard.’ I was one of the last to come into the office after dropping off my child at daycare and one of the first to leave. I wondered if I could still succeed in my career and how to make it work. Then it dawned on me—I wasn’t the first woman to give birth at this company. Others had figured it out, so I sought them out, asking, ‘What’s the secret sauce?’
This led to starting the Mama Bear program. We already had a women’s program (ERG) at work, but I noticed there was a gap for women in the middle phase of their careers. Most women engaging were either starting off their careers or in the later stage providing advice and mentorship.
The mid career gap could be attributed to maybe them being moms—they don’t have time for these kinds of programs. So, we created the Mama Bear program to establish a network of support for moms, focusing on building community, learning from each other, supporting each other, and empowering one another throughout our careers and motherhood journeys.What we found is that there really is no secret sauce. But being surrounded by women who validate that it’s hard and who are there to help each other out made a difference. It empowered us to go back to work and ask for what we needed to be successful both at home and at work.
For example, when I went back to work after the pandemic lockdown, I realized I couldn’t just put my child in a corner with toys while I worked—it didn’t work like that. So, I felt empowered, with great support from my leader, to have conversations about protecting my work time while also being there for my child. These boundaries and conversations helped normalize the situation.
I love that you saw this not as an individual problem but as a structural one. You worked to change a large organization or at least make this issue more visible.
It’s commendable because, in the past, I have heard enough women didn’t help each other out. For decades, women who succeeded in the corporate world would just push this under the rug and never talk about that aspect of their lives. It was a taboo topic.
In one of these previous chats I had Allison, from Moms at Work join me and she did mention that “It requires a level of privilege to be able to bring your whole self to work”. and so I am glad women who have the privilege are leaning into owning this part of their identity
Yeah, I feel like there’s so much secrecy around it, and I never understood why, because obviously, people have families and children. But you’re right, there seems to be this perceived conflict between motherhood and a career. Just because I’m a mom now doesn’t mean I’m any less passionate about my career and working in the corporate world.
One thing that resonated with people when we started the Mama Bear program was that I was willing to be vulnerable about it. I was open about how hard it was because nobody else was talking about it—everyone was pretending. I don’t want to say pretending, but not many people were willing to show they were struggling.
In the corporate world, I had the impression that the general notion is to project capability and a desire to progress, rather than admitting, ‘Hey, I’m having a hard time.’ But there’s so much value in normalizing that this is a difficult situation and acknowledging that it’s not an individual problem. If everyone is going through the same thing, then what does the company need to do to support its team members better and enable them to produce their best work?
This started as a grassroots initiative because it was something I needed. I needed that community and the ability to ask, ‘How do I do this? How do I have conversations with my boss when my kid is sick at home but I have a senior-level presentation due?’ Navigating those small things really enables long-term success, like protecting your time while still delivering high-quality work.
That’s amazing because it helps a lot of people feel more seen.
I always tell people that while there is a bias, if you can you should own this part of your identity, it acts like a great filter to identity opportunities. If a project, a team or an organization does not want you because you are a mom then it’s a sign that I might not succeed in that environment anyway.
On the flip side, there are organizations that will celebrate the fact that you have a full life. Both men and women have kids—that’s just reality.
I agree, and I don’t shy away from saying that I’m a mom anymore. It’s very front and center as part of my personal and professional brand. I’m a working mom, and I want to be part of an organization and team that supports that.
A lot of it has to do with the fact that I have a daughter, and I think about her future. If she decides to become a mom, I don’t want her to struggle in her career. There’s so much opportunity to make things better.
When I was younger, I always wanted to change the world and do some good. This isn’t revolutionary by any means, but it’s a small piece of change. In large corporations or organizations, if we can shift how we treat moms—and therefore our families and children—that benefits not just the organization but society as a whole.
Have you seen any shifts in the last five years since you started this? Besides creating a strong community, have you noticed any changes?
It’s been huge. The leadership team recognizes and celebrates us. We have a strong VP supporter who champions us, and people are more accepting and accommodating. The women at work are also more open now. In the past, especially in male-dominated teams, women might have just sucked it up, trying to hit a deadline without standing up for themselves or their families, thinking that this is just the way it is. But now, the culture is shifting. The organization where I started this program has always been a fantastic place to work, and this is like the cherry on top that allows for more positive things to happen.
This year on Mother’s Day, the CEO posted on social media celebrating the moms across the organization. I know some companies just do lip service, but I genuinely feel the support for moms, partly because I’ve been part of the community and program ensuring that support exists.
It’s not just about the community; we’re influencing internal policies and creating a culture that will continue to allow for positive change. Yes, we have HR policies, but we’ve also developed a guide for both moms and leaders to feel equipped to handle maternity leave and the return to work successfully.
I love that because one of the biggest challenges happens when organizations don’t reintegrate women well after maternity leave. In Canada, we have decent maternity leave coverage, which is great, but it also means that when someone is away for that long, it’s like re-onboarding them. Organizations have to ensure these women don’t fall off track?
Maternity leave is probably the only extended leave where you don’t get as much hand-holding compared to other types of leaves where there seems to be a much more structured approach, including onboarding after the leave. But for maternity leave, it’s 12 to 18 months now—that’s a long time to be away, and so much can change within the organization during that period. I think there’s an opportunity to really improve this process.
I agree and I am glad your program was thinking through this
What I love most about the Mama Bear program is that we can now raise questions that aren’t usually asked from the motherhood lens. We’ve cultivated a community and a voice for mothers, bringing their perspectives to the leadership team.
We ask, ‘What about this? Have we looked at it from the mom's standpoint? What can we do better?’ There are so many parents in the organization, so it’s important that the policies in place also serve them well. This isn’t the traditional way things have been looked at before, but we’re having robust conversations about what ‘good’ looks like from a parenting angle.
Do you also have allies? Often, women solve women’s problems in a silo, but the reality is that a large proportion of leadership teams in many corporations are still men, sometimes men who are in single-income households and just don’t get it.
I’m glad you’re shining a light on the issue, but do you have mechanisms to bring men into the fold, or encourage men to take longer paternity leaves?
That’s a great question, and it comes up a lot. We definitely have allies and we reach out to share about the program with leaders across the board. But the program itself was created for the moms first and foremost. When we think about diversity and inclusion, there’s often the question, ‘What about the dads?’ For our team, we’ve talked about this a lot. Yes, we want to be inclusive, and anyone who resonates with our content is welcome to join, but our focus is definitely targeted toward moms. There are just some things that are very mom-specific, certain conversations, like nursing or pumping at work, are really mom-focused.
We’ve tried to expand certain things, but there are discussions, like pumping in the workplace, that you just don’t have with dads. We do have sessions where we share what parents do, but we feel strongly that there’s an opportunity to keep the focus on moms specifically.
There are dads who reach out to us, asking, ‘What about us?’ And I think that’s great. I always feel that there’s an opportunity for dads to come together and build their own community, but it’s not really for the women to build that for them. What we do though in our community is discuss and empower women to have the right conversations, with their partners, with their leaders, with their team members, colleagues, etc. and help drive the conversations to spur changes.
I completely hear that. As someone who also spent some time in the world of brands, I think sometimes you’ve got to have a sharp focus. If you try to be everything to everyone, you end up being nothing to no one.
Exactly. I always go back to the community I like to serve.
Being focused is important—these are the people I’m serving, with their specific needs and pain points. It doesn’t mean that another group’s issues or struggles aren’t valid, but this is who I want to serve and why.
There’s value in having a focus and being able to create a program or product that specifically addresses their needs.
Now, moving from the collective to the individual, what have you and your partner done to make things work as a dual-income household with kids? Are there specific tactics or ongoing strategies that help you operate in this environment?
I am very, very lucky. My husband strongly resonates with his role as a father—he absolutely loves it. He’s very clear that his family comes first, and he’s made that clear in his career. It’s been phenomenal to have him supporting me along the way with what I want to do. He handles a lot of the household tasks and childcare as needed, and he actively seeks out opportunities that allow for that. He holds the boundary, which really helps. Having a partner who gets it and shares the same priorities is so important.
We also reach out to extended help. We have grandparents close by, and we’ve moved—actually, we moved provinces. I used to be in Toronto, but when we started our family, we moved back to BC, and even to the same city as our parents, just really realizing how much support we would need with small kids.
That has really helped us manage the day-to-day and get by a little bit better. It’s not seamless—there are always bumps along the way, of course—but at the end of the day, I’m very grateful to have a partner who really cares about the family and is, like, a lead dad.
And it’s one of those things where a lot of women now reach out to me, especially those starting their careers, and their questions are often about, ‘How do I do this? How do I do that?’ I keep nudging them—not to be an annoying middle-aged person—but one of the biggest decisions you will make is the life partner you choose. That decision will have such immense impacts on your happiness, career success, and everything else.
When you’re in your 20s, of course, be very focused professionally—I’m not saying don’t—but also be intentional about the people you’re dating and the one you decide to be with because it’s going to make such a world of difference.
This is one piece of advice I have heard so many accomplished women share. Who you choose as your life partner is so important.
Because this will enable one to transparently ask each other question - how are we supporting each other thrive while raising our family? Both careers are important, and both partners in the situation need support. Maybe it's someone's season versus the others
We’ve been in situations where opportunities might offer more money, but at what cost? We have those conversations together.
That’s such important advice—being intentional and looking at the downside and upside. Every opportunity has its season, like chapters in a book. Sometimes you have to prioritize one thing and let go of another, as long as you’re still growing. You can jump back into it, but you can't have everything all at once—that’s a recipe for burnout.
Exactly. I'm really holding onto this whole seasons analogy. The more I talk about it, the more it makes sense.
A crude example: If I love shorts and flip-flops—they’re comfy, the best. But if it’s winter, it’s not the season for it, and I’d have a hard time forcing myself to wear them in a snowstorm.
No matter how much I love them, it would be to my detriment to keep pushing for it. It’s about understanding that, and it's worked out for us over the past couple of years. I’ve said to myself, 'My time will come again; the season will come when it’s the right opportunity.
Just before we wrap this up, any last thoughts you’d like to share? Especially for women who may not have the support systems in their organization—how do you motivate someone to have that first conversation, or what can they do to build some of this for themselves?
That’s a great question.
Part of me wonders if this will be profound enough, but I think it’s important to remember that you're not alone. More often than not, other people feel the same way.
Have the courage to be brave and seize the opportunity to be vulnerable. There's so much value in bringing up what's important.
When I started the Mama Bear program, I wasn’t hesitant to say, 'This is hard, and I need help.' Turns out, everyone felt the same way. Don’t be afraid to talk about the hard things and have honest conversations.
I think you'll be surprised—because I was—how much we're all in the same boat and here to help each other out.
I’ve been seeing ads for MasterClass and got a preview of Penn and Teller’s class, the magicians.
They said something that has stuck with me: 'One of the things that makes life worth living is giving other people joy.'
That has really resonated with me.
🤓 Open tabs…
(I have modeled this section after those “open tabs” that we all have with a few (okay 30-40) interesting links that we promise we will eventually get to one day. These are the links that I had open for sometime that I finally got to …)
⭐Claudia Goldin on the Economics of Inequality (Ep. 133)
Prof. Goldin discusses the rise of female billionaires in China, why the US gender earnings gap expanded in recent years, what’s behind falling marriage rates for those without a college degree, why the wage gap flips for Black women versus Black men, theoretical approaches for modeling intersectionality, gender ratios in economics, why she’s skeptical about happiness research, how the New York Times wedding announcement page has evolved, the problems with for-profit education, the value of an Ivy League degree and more
⭐ Men benefit more from their looks at work than women do, new research shows
They discovered that those who had moved up the corporate ladder the fastest — and were earning the most — were the men who had been deemed "very attractive" as teenagers. Even with potential obstacles like coming from a low-income household or growing up in a dangerous neighborhood, attractive men still managed to achieve upward mobility.
⭐Taylor Swift Loves Puzzles More Than You
And the decision to turn her life into one massive ongoing puzzle is something so all-consuming that it’s more than a little terrifying to imagine: practically anything is on the table. She’s used everything from her fashion choices to her interview responses as potential fodder for easter eggs
📖 My private thoughts from my very public diary…
(My X (Twitter) use has drastically gone down, I am now more active on Threads)
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And if you happen to know an inspiring working parent who should be featured in a future edition (or if you yourself are one) - please do get in touch
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Disclaimer: All views expressed are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer